ISSO É INCRÍVEL!

Ui,Ui, Ui...

https://media.giphy.com/media/lqRzW1xVzw5h66886V/giphy.gif

NUNKAIO TOKONVAR

FODA-SE

O meu amigo "EVIDENTE" !!!

Quando cheguei na Califórnia, conheci um sujeito chamado : "Evidente". Depois de algum tempo, foi perceber que ele "mentia" muito, em vários detalhes fazia questão de mentir. Quando me perguntavam sobre ele, eu sempre admitia: EVIDENTE-MENTE! Fui obrigado a deixar usar esse termo, que nao revela a realidade na integra. Porque pra mim evidentemente, o Evidente mente! Então não tem razão nenhuma para usar esse termo: Evidentemente! Como dizia o austriaco Joseph Schumpeter: Nada é tão traiçoeiro, quando o que é evidente!

O IMORTAL MORREU

EU "CINCO" MUITO !!!

JÁ MUDARAM AS PASSAGENS! PODE ?

VAR..PRAPUTAQUEPARIU.

O DENTE DE JOHN LENNON

Essa daqui é muita "FULERAGEM", em 2011 um canadense chamado Michael Zuk resolveu comprar o dente molar removido da boca de nada mais, nada menos que John Lennon. Para comprar ele teve que desembolsar uma quantia de $31.200.

Desnecessariamente falando!

Coisas desnecessárias compradas por pessoas ricas

Hoje no mundo existem diversas pessoas que são ricas, que ganham bem, sabem guardar e fazer com que o dinheiro trabalhe para elas, talvez você que esteja lendo isso aqui seja uma dessas pessoas! Entre essas pessoas existem as que gostam de viver como se não houvesse o amanhã, ou até mesmo mostrar que tem dinheiro ‘a rodo’ para gastar. E é isso que vamos nos concentrar hoje, as compras necessárias (para não dizer inúteis) que pessoas ricas fizeram.

Camisa feita de ouro

A índia é muito conhecida por ter pessoas que gostam de ostentar e esse é o caso do indiano Datta Phuge. Esse rapaz resolveu comprar uma das roupas mais caras do mundo, isso lá em 2013, só que não era uma roupa normal, mas sim uma camisa feita completamente de ouro, isso mesmo. A camisa pesava 3kg de ouro e demorou 2 semanas para ser confeccionado, isso porque existiam 15 ourives trabalhando 16 horas por dia! Infelizmente o indiano não está mais ostentando com sua camisa, já que foi morto em 2016 ao ser espancado por 12 homens, isso aconteceu pois ele havia disputas ligadas a dinheiro.

Whats Zepan

 

 

Whats Zepan

Whats Zepan, para pessoas viciadas em WahtApp

RECADO

CASAMENTO

CASAMENTO

Casar pela segunda vez é o triunfo da esperança sobre a experiência.
Pablo Neruda

O primeiro ano é o mais  difícil.
Os restantes são impossíveis.
Arnaldo Jabor

O amor é cego, mas o  matrimônio devolve a visão.
Anthony Hopkins
 
Não se case por dinheiro.
Há empréstimos bem mais baratos.
Marta  Suplicy

Quando um casal de recém  casados sorri, toda a gente sabe porquê.
Quando um casal com mais  de dez anos de casados sorri, toda  a gente pergunta porquê.
Stanlislaw Ponte Preta

Quando um homem abre a porta  do carro para sua esposa, pode estar certo de uma coisa:
Ou o carro é novo, ou  é o amante.
Juca Chaves

Na Antiguidade, os sacrifícios  faziam-se no altar.
Atualmente esse costume perdura.
Nelson Rodrigues

Estou apaixonado pela mesma mulher  há 40 anos. Se a minha esposa souber,  ela me mata.
Henny Youngman

Os solteiros deveriam pagar mais  impostos.
Não é justo que alguns  homens sejam mais felizes que os outros.
Chico  Anísio

Quando me casei, descobri a  felicidade. Mas aí já era tarde demais.
Tom  Jobim

Casar é a metade do divertimento pelo dobro do preço.
Woody Allen

Quer conhecer a tua namorada...  CASA!
Quer conhecer a tua mulher...  SEPARA!
Luis Fernando Veríssimo

MARCOSA RUBRO NEGRA!

TORCIDA ARCO-ÍRIS

FULERAGEM DO CHOCOLATE É CHOCOLATE!

PORQUE EU SOU EU! 

Não uso relógio. Eu decido que horas são! 

Não bebo alcool. Bebo nitrogênio líquido com limão! 

Se eu me atrasar, é melhor o tempo andar mais devagar! 

Quando tiro par ou ímpar com o espelho, peço ímpar e ganho! 

Me refiro a mim mesmo na quarta pessoa! 

Uma vez levei uma facada no olho... a faca ficou cega! 

Quando meu carro atinge a velocidade da luz eu passo a segunda! 

Já contei até o infinito duas vezes! 

Só passo as noites com a luz acesa. O escuro tem medo de mim! 

Eu sou tempo que geladeira era branca, e telefone era preto! Hoje... 



Nunca errei um strike jogando boliche. Quando acertava 1 pino e os outros 9 caiam de medo! 

Parei de jogar futebol porque um dia bati um pênalti de bicicleta e acabei fazendo um gol olímpico! 

Uma vez fiz uma aposta com o super homem, quem perdesse tinha que usar a cueca por cima da calça!

ESTOU VENDO !

UMA ÓTIMA......-FEIRA A TODOS!

TATUAGEM DE SEXTA A SEGUNDA!

CLIENTE VIP

ANTI-FLAMENGUISTA!

OPS! QUE PLANTA É ESSA ?

ENQUANTO ISSO!

COMO SURGIU A EXPRESSÃO:

BUÁ!, BUÁ!, BUÁ, BUÁ!....

EU QUERO COMPRAR UM VAR.!!!

NÃO CLICK NO BOTÃO VERMELHO!!!

Alcohol delivery guidelines

 UNITED STATES OF AMERICA 🇺🇸

FULL SERVICE SHOPPER ACCOUNT ACCESS GUIDELINES

Instacart is proud of its relationships with Full Service Shoppers and seeks to partner with professionals who meet and exceed customer expectations, follow industry norms, and comply with applicable legal requirements.

These Full Service Shopper Account Access Guidelines are intended to ensure that Shoppers and customers alike can use and enjoy the Instacart platform in a safe and professional manner. Failure to abide by these Guidelines may result in a Shopper’s account being deactivated. Note that, in some instances, Instacart may need to investigate an issue before determining whether account deactivation is appropriate. In those situations, Instacart may temporarily suspend a Shopper’s access to his/ her/ their account during the investigation.

FAILING TO MAINTAIN A SAFE ENVIRONMENT

The safety of Shoppers and customers -- and the public in general -- is Instacart’s first priority. In order to foster a safe environment for Shoppers and customers, Instacart does not permit activity on the platform that could injure others or create unsafe conditions. A Shopper’s account may be deactivated as a result of any of the following actions:

• Violence/Aggression, including:
• Carrying a weapon while providing services through the App and while on the premises of a third party retailer or a customer location, unless state law expressly prohibits this restriction
• Assault, violence or threats of violence
• Aggressive gestures
• Abusive or threatening mental or verbal treatment
• Harassing customers regarding money, pay, or tips
• Theft/Shoplifting
• Profanity
• Unwanted verbal, written or online contact including, but not limited to, asking overly personal questions of customers, contractors, retailer employees or Instacart employees
• Unwanted physical contact, or sexual conduct of any kind, towards customers, contractors, retailer employees, or Instacart employees while providing services
• Use of alcohol or drugs while providing services
• Property damage while providing services
• Conduct that is harassing or discriminatory in nature, e.g., offensive gestures, slurs, or other unwanted conduct based on any category protected by applicable law
• Bringing anyone along (including minors) who does not have an Instacart Shopper account while providing services on the platform
• Engaging in conduct that jeopardizes food safety, e.g., including tampering with packaging or placing non-retail items in bags, failing to verify possession of insulated bags

Violation of Applicable Law or Regulation

Suspension or deactivation may result if a Shopper violates federal, state, or local law or regulation while providing services through the Instacart platform. Examples include:

• Breaking any local, state, or federal law while providing services through the Instacart platform
• Failure to maintain adequate insurance
• For Shoppers who choose to deliver alcohol through the platform (in areas where such delivery is legally permissible), any failure to comply with relevant alcohol laws and regulations (e.g., not checking ID, forging a customer’s signature, making an unattended delivery on an order containing alcohol, delivering alcohol to a minor or visibly intoxicated person, or making unauthorized alcohol replacements)
• For Shoppers who choose to engage in prescription delivery through the platform, any failure to comply with relevant privacy and information security laws and regulations, including the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996 and as reflected in Instacart’s Sanctions Policy. This includes failure to comply with applicable prescription delivery laws and regulations related to checking identification or leaving a prescription delivery order unattended.

ISSUES WITH BACKGROUND CHECKS

Instacart conducts background checks of Shoppers to ensure that they meet safety standards. In accordance with applicable laws, Shoppers are given the opportunity to address any background check issues that may arise, but Shoppers who fail to meet the safety standards will be denied access to the platform. In cases where Instacart discovers after a Shopper signs the Independent Contractor Agreement that the Shopper fails to meet minimum safety standards, in accordance with applicable law, the Shopper’s account may be subject to deactivation.

Failing to Meet Acceptable Standards of Service

Customers who use the Instacart platform expect quality service. Because of this, failure to maintain the following minimum standards of service may result in deactivation:

• Providing services that lead to repeated customer or retailer complaints
• Failure to adhere to industry norms with respect to food safety, including but not limited to, failing to use insulated bags to protect food items that need to be maintained at a hot or cold temperature, or delivering products that smell of smoke
• Repeated failure to deliver orders on time or to deliver a complete order, including:
• Repeated failure to complete an order within a reasonable period of the time communicated to the customer
• Failure to complete an accepted batch

Confidentiality Breaches

Just as Instacart protects Shoppers’ personal information, Shoppers are expected to protect the personal information of customers on the platform. Confidentiality breaches can occur in a number of ways. For example, a Shopper would breach the confidentiality provisions of the Independent Contractor Agreement by sharing the identity or address of a customer or another Shopper, bringing any other person who does not have an Instacart Shopper account along while providing services, or by taking screenshots of the Shopper App while it is displaying customer information or other personally identifiable or sensitive information. In addition, the Shopper App should not be used to text or communicate with customers on issues other than the customer’s order items, the status of order, or the manner of delivery. Confidentiality breaches may result in deactivation from the platform and may also result in Instacart pursuing additional legal remedies. Using confidential and/or personal information of customers obtained through the Shopper App to contact them outside of the Shopper App for any reason not immediately related to a customer’s open order is a breach of a Shopper’s confidentiality obligation under the Independent Contractor Agreement. Finally, in order to best protect the personal information of customers, Shoppers must have a secure password on the mobile device to prevent unauthorized parties from accessing a customer’s personal information through the Shopper App.

Fraud

Fraudulent or deceptive practices on the platform can harm Shoppers, Instacart, and customers. For that reason, the following acts may result in deactivation:

• Misuse of payment card, including, but not limited to misappropriation of funds or cash-back attempts
• Encouraging others to participate in fraud or to disrupt the reliability of the platform
• Abusing the written terms of Instacart or written rules of retailers that apply to coupons, loyalty programs, referral bonuses, or any other promotion
• Co-Shopping:
• Delegating responsibilities to someone who does not have an Instacart Shopper account and whose activities are not conducted through the Instacart platform
• Otherwise allowing another person access to the Shopper’s account for any reason
• Holding duplicate Shopper accounts
• Providing inaccurate or fraudulent information to Instacart during the sign-up process or otherwise, including providing an invalid or fraudulent signature on the Independent Contractor Agreement
• Failing to maintain accurate, complete, and current Shopper account information
• Any fraudulent activity conducted by a Shopper through a customer or Shopper account
• The unauthorized use of Instacart’s trademark or intellectual property

Other

The Full Service Shopper Account Access Guidelines are not comprehensive, and Instacart reserves the right to suspend or deactivate a Shopper’s account based on violations of the Independent Contractor Agreement or for other reasons as deemed necessary in Instacart’s reasonable and good faith business judgment to ensure the safe and reliable operation of the Instacart platform. We will update the Guidelines as necessary and keep the updated version posted.

If your account has been deactivated and you have new information or evidence to show it was in error, please submit your evidence through the form found here. Please do not submit multiple requests, as that can delay the consideration of your request.

INSTACARD "No subistantiate the allegations"

Hi Ricardo,

Thank you for your patience as we investigated the alleged incident of 6/3. After a review of the available information about the alleged incident, Instacart was not able to substantiate the allegations. 

Further reports of violations of applicable laws may result in suspension or deactivation of your shopper account. You can review our alcohol delivery guidelines here if you have any questions.

As a courtesy, I've added an additional week of early access to your account, but I am unable to reschedule any hours you had previously claimed. I apologize for the inconvenience.

Your account is no longer on investigatory suspension status, and you are free to pick up hours and provide services on the Instacart platform as usual.

Best,

Matthew A.Instacart, Risk Operations

--------------------------------------------------

Shopper Statement

Shopper’s name: Ricardo Rodrigues dos Reis

Date of statement:  6/6//2019

Date and time of incident: 6/5/2019

Location of incident: 888 Brannan St, San Francisco CA

Who was involved: Customer’s name is Sherryl and myself.

Are there witnesses to the incident? Who are they?

What happened? Please provide a straightforward and factual account.  

The order was picked up at total wine and more in Daly City at the address of 311 Gellert Blvd and was delivered to Sherryl at 888 Brannan St in San Francisco. The allegations that are being made against me are false.

While I was in the store I called Sherryl to let her know that there were 3 tequilas available in the store, she agreed although she requested four. She also asked me to call her when I arrived in her street and that she would go down to meet me at the door. Once I arrived I called her a block before arrival, 2 minutes later she arrived with another friend. I asked her to show me her ID and as she did so, I scanned it to verify her age as requested by the application. The application showed her ID was scanned and that she was born in 1968. The application failed when I tried sending the information on the ID. I called instacart to explain the situation and they resolved the issue. By this time the customer had already left with the items.  I continued working the rest of my day.

The information that you share will be carefully considered along with all of the other facts that are available to us.  Our investigation is still ongoing at this time. We will notify you as soon as a decision is made. Thank you!